When you want to En Garde your sausage the BBQ Sword cuts a swathe through more sensible BBQ tools. If d’Artagnan was ever to get into alfresco cuisine then surely this ludicrous piece of BBQ paraphernalia would be his weapon of choice. Whether you fancy yourself as the fifth musketeer or perhaps the next Zorro (it strangely comes with a cut-out mask) then there can be no better way to sear your sausage than with this seriously silly sabre. It measures 48.5 cm long has a wooden handle and the metal guard will stop you getting splattered with fat as your sausage sizzles. Age 18 years+ only

• Gift – Home & Office

Price : £ 12.99

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Saturday Kitchen is a popular magazine-format show broadcast live on BBC1 for 35 weeks of the year. Combining a regular band of chefs and celebrities as well as archive material and interactive features it achieves a perfect balance of lively on-screen atmosphere with practical content. Hosted by James Martin the programme has a down-to-earth approach with attention to modern food trends that appeals to not-too-serious cooks. The new Saturday Kitchen Cookbook contains over 100 inspirational recipes from the show bringing together new ideas from some of the nation’s favourite chefs cutting-edge recipes from fresh talent a variety of different cuisine from all around the world and a wealth of tips on current food topics.

Price : £ 11.69

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Saturday Kitchen is a popular magazine-format show broadcast live on BBC1 for 35 weeks of the year. Combining a regular band of chefs and celebrities as well as archive material and interactive features it achieves a perfect balance of lively on-screen atmosphere with practical content. Hosted by James Martin the programme has a down-to-earth approach with attention to modern food trends that appeals to not-too-serious cooks. The new Saturday Kitchen Cookbook contains over 100 inspirational recipes from the show bringing together new ideas from some of the nation’s favourite chefs cutting-edge recipes from fresh talent a variety of different cuisine from all around the world and a wealth of tips on current food topics.

Price : £ 11.69

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Chocolate Willy Spread The Chocolate Willy Spread makes for a passionate picnic anytime, anyplace! Amazing for making oral sex all the tastier, the Chocolate Willy Spread is the most polite and traditional way to spread your meat! How many times have you been told off for sticking a buttery knife into a sauce pot? Too many? Us too. With the Chocolate Willy Spread, you won’t ever have to butter up (or chocolate up!) your man again – he’ll be so deliciously satisfied with your yummy surprise that you’ll be treated like a Queen forever! The most charmingly personal touch to the Chocolate Willy Spread is that it comes with its own miniature silver-plated spreading knife, with a rather decadent looking handle! Why not use your Chocolate Willy Spread simply as a starter and move on to making Chocolate Willy cuisine by adding nuts or sugary sprinkles! The Chocolate Willy Spread is so tongue-in-cheek yet so traditional – you won’t know whether to use a napkin or just get stuck in! Bon Appetit! About the Chocolate Willy Spread The Chocolate Willy Spread set includes a lovely little pot of 40g of Chocolate Willy Spread, a fancy silver-plated miniature spreading knife and a load of lusty examples on how to spread your willy on the back of the pack! The Chocolate Willy Spread can be microwaved so that it creates a lovely warm chocolatey milky taste in your mouth! The Chocolate Willy Spread comes in a reusable little pot that can be taken anywhere – as long as it’s legal! The Chocolate Willy Spread’s pot measures approximately 6.5 cm x 1.5 The Chocolate Willy Spread’s miniature spreading knife measures approximately 12.5 cm x 0.5 cm The Chocolate Willy Spread is suitable for food-related foreplay! Food items are non-returnable. This does not affect your statutory rights. Ah, there’s nothing like a traditional old English picnic. Picture this – you’re lying in the long dry sun-drenched grass, the air dotted with the faint hum of summer birds and the hazy sun streaming down from the sweet summer sky… You reach over to your wicker picnic basket and what do you find inside? A pot of jam? A few scones? Perhaps a dash of Pink Lemonade? A Chocolate Willy Spread?! Hold on a minute! A Chocolate Willy Spread?! Surely no one in their right mind would create a miniature little pot of Chocolate Willy Spread and a traditionally ornate little spreading knife to complete the ensemble?! Well, get ready to embrace the erotic trend for seriously tasty foreplay food because the Chocolate Willy Spread is here to stay! Non-threatening and quite possibly the cutest novelty piece of foreplay fun on the market, the Chocolate Willy Spread is designed to make a desirable dish out of your man’s bit! The calorie counter will be out the window with the Chocolate Willy Spread as we’re sure you’ll be working it off when you progress onto dessert! Become a prim and proper madam by insisting the Chocolate Willy Spread is served correctly with its cute little counterpart – the Chocolate Willy Spread miniature spreading knife! You’ll feel like one of the fabulously glamorous Desperate Housewives and he’ll feel like a King as you spread his thing! Bringing a whole new dimension to breakfast in bed, the crazily tempting Chocolate Willy Spread will satisfy your need for chocolate and his need to be fulfilled! What’s more, the Chocolate Willy Spread isn’t body-parts-specific so why not share half and half and play fair by both getting a part of the appetizing action! We’re sure you won’t be as silly to leave your Chocolate Willy Spread hanging around in the kitchen for innocent onlookers to find, but do take care with the Chocolate Willy Spread miniature spreading knife – it’s unsuspicious appearance may find it being used by lazy kids who can’t be bothered doing the washing up! So if you want a more flavourful experience from erotic foreplay and tire of the same old fruity condoms, purchase the Chocolate Willy Spread for seductive snacking! What’s in the Chocolate Willy Spread Packet? 40 g x Chocolate Willy Spread 1 x Chocolate Willy Spread Silver-Plated Miniature Spreading Knife Blown away by our brilliantly sexy Chocolate Willy Spread? You’d be mad not to check out our naughty Chocolate Nipple Spread by clicking over to Related Products! Why You Should Buy From Us! Low-price guarantee Loyalty points discount off future orders Huge range of unique gift ideas for all occasions Excellent customer service Next day delivery available Chocolate Willy Spread

Price : £ 4.99

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Chocolate Willy Spread The Chocolate Willy Spread makes for a passionate picnic anytime, anyplace! Amazing for making oral sex all the tastier, the Chocolate Willy Spread is the most polite and traditional way to spread your meat! How many times have you been told off for sticking a buttery knife into a sauce pot? Too many? Us too. With the Chocolate Willy Spread, you won’t ever have to butter up (or chocolate up!) your man again – he’ll be so deliciously satisfied with your yummy surprise that you’ll be treated like a Queen forever! The most charmingly personal touch to the Chocolate Willy Spread is that it comes with its own miniature silver-plated spreading knife, with a rather decadent looking handle! Why not use your Chocolate Willy Spread simply as a starter and move on to making Chocolate Willy cuisine by adding nuts or sugary sprinkles! The Chocolate Willy Spread is so tongue-in-cheek yet so traditional – you won’t know whether to use a napkin or just get stuck in! Bon Appetit! About the Chocolate Willy Spread The Chocolate Willy Spread set includes a lovely little pot of 40g of Chocolate Willy Spread, a fancy silver-plated miniature spreading knife and a load of lusty examples on how to spread your willy on the back of the pack! The Chocolate Willy Spread can be microwaved so that it creates a lovely warm chocolatey milky taste in your mouth! The Chocolate Willy Spread comes in a reusable little pot that can be taken anywhere – as long as it’s legal! The Chocolate Willy Spread’s pot measures approximately 6.5 cm x 1.5 The Chocolate Willy Spread’s miniature spreading knife measures approximately 12.5 cm x 0.5 cm The Chocolate Willy Spread is suitable for food-related foreplay! Food items are non-returnable. This does not affect your statutory rights. Ah, there’s nothing like a traditional old English picnic. Picture this – you’re lying in the long dry sun-drenched grass, the air dotted with the faint hum of summer birds and the hazy sun streaming down from the sweet summer sky… You reach over to your wicker picnic basket and what do you find inside? A pot of jam? A few scones? Perhaps a dash of Pink Lemonade? A Chocolate Willy Spread?! Hold on a minute! A Chocolate Willy Spread?! Surely no one in their right mind would create a miniature little pot of Chocolate Willy Spread and a traditionally ornate little spreading knife to complete the ensemble?! Well, get ready to embrace the erotic trend for seriously tasty foreplay food because the Chocolate Willy Spread is here to stay! Non-threatening and quite possibly the cutest novelty piece of foreplay fun on the market, the Chocolate Willy Spread is designed to make a desirable dish out of your man’s bit! The calorie counter will be out the window with the Chocolate Willy Spread as we’re sure you’ll be working it off when you progress onto dessert! Become a prim and proper madam by insisting the Chocolate Willy Spread is served correctly with its cute little counterpart – the Chocolate Willy Spread miniature spreading knife! You’ll feel like one of the fabulously glamorous Desperate Housewives and he’ll feel like a King as you spread his thing! Bringing a whole new dimension to breakfast in bed, the crazily tempting Chocolate Willy Spread will satisfy your need for chocolate and his need to be fulfilled! What’s more, the Chocolate Willy Spread isn’t body-parts-specific so why not share half and half and play fair by both getting a part of the appetizing action! We’re sure you won’t be as silly to leave your Chocolate Willy Spread hanging around in the kitchen for innocent onlookers to find, but do take care with the Chocolate Willy Spread miniature spreading knife – it’s unsuspicious appearance may find it being used by lazy kids who can’t be bothered doing the washing up! So if you want a more flavourful experience from erotic foreplay and tire of the same old fruity condoms, purchase the Chocolate Willy Spread for seductive snacking! What’s in the Chocolate Willy Spread Packet? 40 g x Chocolate Willy Spread 1 x Chocolate Willy Spread Silver-Plated Miniature Spreading Knife Blown away by our brilliantly sexy Chocolate Willy Spread? You’d be mad not to check out our naughty Chocolate Nipple Spread by clicking over to Related Products! Why You Should Buy From Us! Low-price guarantee Loyalty points discount off future orders Huge range of unique gift ideas for all occasions Excellent customer service Next day delivery available Chocolate Willy Spread

Price : £ 4.99

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Chocolate Nipple Spread The Chocolate Nipple Spread makes for a passionate picnic anytime, anyplace! Amazing for foreplay all the most foxy, the Chocolate Nipple Spread is the most polite and traditional way to make the breast meal ever! How many times have you been told off for sticking a buttery knife into a sauce pot? Too many? Us too. With the Chocolate Nipple Spread, you won’t ever have to butter up (or chocolate up!) your woman again – she’ll be so deliciously satisfied with your yummy surprise that you’ll be treated like a King forever! The most charmingly personal touch to the Chocolate Nipple Spread is that it comes with its own miniature silver-plated spreading knife, with a rather decadent looking handle! Why not use your Chocolate Nipple Spread simply as a starter and move on to making Chocolate Nipple cuisine by adding nuts or sugary sprinkles! The Chocolate Nipple Spread is so tongue-in-cheek yet so traditional – you won’t know whether to use a napkin or just get stuck in! Bon Appetit! About the Chocolate Nipple Spread The Chocolate Nipple Spread set includes a lovely little pot of 40g of Chocolate Nipple Spread, a fancy silver-plated miniature spreading knife and a load of lusty examples on how to spread your nipples on the back of the pack! The Chocolate Nipple Spread can be microwaved so that it creates a lovely warm chocolatey milky taste in your mouth! The Chocolate Nipple Spread comes in a reusable little pot that can be taken anywhere – as long as it’s legal! The Chocolate Nipple Spread’s pot measures approximately 6.5 cm x 1.5 The Chocolate Nipple Spread’s miniature spreading knife measures approximately 12.5 cm x 0.5 cm The Chocolate Nipple Spread is suitable for food-related foreplay! Food items are non-returnable. This does not affect your statutory rights. Ah, there’s nothing like a traditional old English picnic. Picture this – you’re lying in the long dry sun-drenched grass, the air dotted with the faint hum of summer birds and the hazy sun streaming down from the sweet summer sky… You reach over to your wicker picnic basket and what do you find inside? A pot of jam? A few scones? Perhaps a dash of Pink Lemonade? A Chocolate Nipple Spread?! Hold on a minute! Spread your girlfriend’s or wife’s beautiful baps with the brilliant Chocolate Nipple Spread and make the most of those marvellous mammary glands! A Chocolate Nipple Spread?! Surely no one in their right mind would create a miniature little pot of Chocolate Nipple Spread and a traditionally ornate little spreading knife to complete the ensemble?! Well, get ready to embrace the erotic trend for seriously tasty foreplay food because the Chocolate Nipple Spread is here to stay! Non-threatening and quite possibly the cutest novelty piece of foreplay fun on the market, the Chocolate Nipple Spread is designed to make a desirable dish out of your woman’s wondrous fleshy friends! The calorie counter will be out the window with the Chocolate Nipple Spread as we’re sure you’ll be working it off when you progress onto dessert! Become a prim and proper monsieur by insisting the Chocolate Nipple Spread is served correctly with its cute little counterpart – the Chocolate Nipple Spread miniature spreading knife! You’ll feel like Easter has come early as you indulge in the wonderfully sticky and sexy Chocolate Nipple Spread! Bringing a whole new dimension to breakfast in bed, the crazily tempting Chocolate Nipple Spread will satisfy man’s most basic need for chocolate and her need to be fulfilled! What’s more, the Chocolate Nipple Spread isn’t body-parts-specific so why not share half and half and play fair by both getting a part of the appetizing action! We’re sure you won’t be as silly to leave your Chocolate Nipple Spread hanging around in the kitchen for innocent onlookers to find, but do take care with the Chocolate Nipple Spread miniature spreading knife – it’s unsuspicious appearance may find it being used by lazy kids who can’t be bothered doing the washing up! So for a full-on flavourful experience in erectable delectable eating, purchase the Chocolate Nipple Spread today and get nibbling on naughty nipples! What’s in the Chocolate Nipple Spread Packet? 40 g x Chocolate Nipple Spread 1 x Chocolate Nipple Spread Silver-Plated Miniature Spreading Knife Blown away by our brilliantly naughty Chocolate Nipple Spread? You’d be mad not to check out our wicked Chocolate Willy Spread by clicking over to Related Products! Why You Should Buy From Us! Low-price guarantee Loyalty points discount off future orders Huge range of unique gift ideas for all occasions Excellent customer service Next day delivery available Chocolate Nipple Spread

Price : £ 4.99

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The Bean Pod is an elegant mini plant-propagator, the perfect product to pep up your cuisine. With little effort you could grow a mini herb garden from scratch in the kitchen window – or what about taking one to the office too? That would really make your daily sandwich something a bit special!

Price : £ 6.95

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If d’Artagnan was ever to get into alfresco cuisine, he’d surely use this

Price : £ 14.99

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